So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
