I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
home. puking in laundry basket.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
