4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
handjob tips. give me some.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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