you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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