Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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