Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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