Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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