I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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