found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Someone signed my nipple.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
