it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
