remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
