Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize