Betty ford says i'm here all night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
