I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
