is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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