Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
