remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
