I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
so that wasnt chicken after all
My hand turned me down
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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