We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
