Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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