i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize