I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
