I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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