billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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