There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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