Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
