yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
