I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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