Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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