No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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