Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
