Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
