If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
