I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
