remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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