I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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