You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
