Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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