Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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