You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
