Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
