he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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