Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
