she looked like the before picture.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
