I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
