make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Your shirt... Was in my pants
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize