If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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