Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
