I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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