I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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