maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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