Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
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