I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Never underestimate the power of titties
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