i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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