he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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