hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
