Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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