I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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