I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize