Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
