it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Randomize
