the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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