Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
