her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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