well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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