I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize