I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize